Steve harvey act like a lady pdf free download

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What we need never weakens or wavers—hardly ever gets more demanding or harder to achieve. You just call it something else: nurturing. So those three things come natural to you.

And this is all your man wants from you. Let me break it down. You have to understand that when we walk out the door, the entire world is standing at the ready to beat us down. In other words, a man is constantly on the lookout, sizing up the next man, standing at the ready to defend his and all of his gains that would include you.

So when we walk back in our house, we want to be able to let our guard down. Thank you for making it happen for us. This family needs you and wants you and is happy to have you. Plain and simple. It simply comes from the heart: Thank you, baby. I appreciate you. But for men, love is loyalty. We want you to show your love to us by being loyal. To men, they are one and the same. If your loyalty is real and unimpeachable, that man will kill concrete for you. We love it. We need to be physically engaged with the woman we love, the woman who is loyal to us and supports us, and the way that we do that is by making love.

But please understand: the way we men connect is by having sex. Ask any guy if sex is important in a relationship and the one who says no is lying. But the rest of us men?

We need sex like we need air. You got about a good month at best without it. Messing with their loyalty—their colors? Man, not nary a day. You can play your man short if you want to. Hell is no longer an option for me. If I start messing around, I might have a stroke and miss out on my homegoing. She liked watching television. He liked to have sex. She was always too tired to have sex. He was tired of not having sex. So while she unwound to her favorite shows, he unwound out of the house—with another woman.

That means that if a man sees his woman had a hard day and she could stand some more help around the house to make the evenings go more smoothly, her man needs to step up his game. If she cooks, he does the dishes. If she gets the kids off to bed, he gets his wife off in bed by setting the mood—straightening up, running her a bath, letting her settle in with a glass of wine, whatever it takes to make it clear to her that having sex with the woman he loves is not only a release, but an act of love.

And she, perhaps, will be more willing to reciprocate—not with annoyance, but with the sheer giddiness in knowing how it feels to feel wanted. But understand that no man is going to wine and dine his wife every night in order to have sex with her.

Every man needs that from his woman. Every last one of us. But what we really need from you when our day goes bad is those three things. The cookie. Those four words can mean only two things to men: either we did something wrong or, worse, you really literally just want to talk. But even more? But seriously? Which one? I got it from that store across town? On sale? The same day I found those shoes at the store just down the street?

I wore that shirt to work a few weeks ago and she complimented me on it and next thing I know, she ran to the store and bought my shirt and is wearing it to work!

Can you believe it? Do you know how that made me feel? Are you serious? How you felt at work while you had to sit there with this other woman on the other side of the room with the same blouse on is irrelevant to us. In our mind, problem solved—no more talking. Let a little boy fall off his bike and scrape his knee—see how fast everyone tells him to get up and shake it off and stop all that doggone crying.

Go ahead, I dare you to try it for yourself. Please understand and respect the return. But you, not so much. What you like and how you like it seemingly shifts from day to day, sometimes even moment to moment. If we get it right, great. A lot of times, the more inexperi- enced of us men are going to completely screw it up. We also know that you may just want to lie in our arms and cuddle and talk it out with absolutely no resolution. We are capable of doing this, too.

But it can be done. We know that sitting and listening and even participating in a long conversation about your feelings is necessary and inevitable. Detailed conversation is what you have with your girl- friends. For men, that means that every once in a while, they may have to sit and be still and just listen. So I asked the lady how old she was; she said she was forty-two. Blew me away. Then I asked her how many kids she had. He clearly had plans for this lady. You could tell just by the way he was leaning into her, hanging on her every word.

I knew what he was trying to get to. But clearly, she had no clue. He knows that I know. Now tell him how many kids you got and watch his reaction. He had a good job, he appeared intelligent. My cohost just laughed and laughed and asked me how I knew all of this. Please highlight this part right here so you can always remind yourself the next time a man steps to you: a man always wants something.

He knows he can get you to the bed with minimal effort. No, that price is out of my range. The things that come out of his mouth are usually, if not always, on point and make me think. Where is this going? He tasted blood. Clearly, he had a plan that was different from what she wanted. Because now, you do: he wants to sleep with you.

And then you can move on. There is no greater peace. This, I think, is a great analogy for how men seek out women. See, men are, by nature, hunters, and women have been put in the position of being the prey.

But the question always remains: once we hook you, what will we do with you? And the way we separate the two is very simple, as I explain next. Men will stand in line to sign up for that, believe me. See, she understands her power and wields it like a samurai sword. She commands—not demands—respect, just by the way she carries herself.

Where you stand in our eyes is dictated by your control over the situation. I like to think that the way you play this situation is much like how you climb the ladder at work. Think about it: dating is a lot like a business; the best way to become successful is to master and control things you have control over.

My success in getting to be one of the Kings of Comedy was based on my desire and ability to control my product—my performance—which ultimately made me exactly who I wanted to be.

And doing that got me exactly what I wanted—success. You control what you can control—your image, the way you conduct yourself, the way you let men talk to and approach you—and use that to get the relationship you want. Your comments may lead him to talk about why he works out, which could lead to a meaningful con- versation about a mutual interest you both have for staying in shape. If this is the case with this man, then let him walk—what do you care? But when it comes to your relationships with the opposite sex, all of that goes out the window; you relinquish your power and lose all control over the situation—cede it to any old man who looks at you twice.

Just because he happened to look at you twice. He plans trips and cancels them. Any woman in this situation should just leave that guy alone. That guy right there? Read on: A woman who commands respect is a keeper; a woman who lets men get away with disrespecting her is a throwback. A woman who is dressed appropriately—has her goodies reasonably covered, but is still sexy, is a keeper; a woman who is scantily clad and dripping sex is a throwback.

A woman who shows her appreciation for all that you do for her is a keeper; a woman who acts like nothing you do can make her happy is a throwback. A woman who is loyal is a keeper; a woman who always has her eye out for the next best thing is a throwback.

Some of the questions are extremely sad, some of them are so surprising they make you want to clutch your chest, and some of them just make you shake your head and wonder how the person asking for advice made it through. She calls on him to do everything. She calls my house late at night and I can hear her through the phone, scream- ing at him about something that she may not have agreed on.

She calls on him for money, to paint her house, to pick her up from the movies, to cook for spe- cial occasions, and even wash her clothes. What prompted me to write this letter is the fact that it is now P. My kids and I are often put on the back burner because he is always doing something for his mother. I need him to be a man and take control. Let me tell you why a man will get up out of a warm bed with a beautiful naked woman in it, pull on his clothes, grab his keys, and get in his car at P.

Look, I already told you how this works: a man who loves you will be the man you need him to be if you have require- ments—standards you set to make the relationship work the way you want it to. The only thing you have to do is establish the rules, say them out loud early in the relationship, and make sure he sticks to them. You must put me and our kids after God and above all others.

Be clear to everyone involved in our lives that they will respect your relationship—and me. Men cannot read minds, and we are completely incapable of anticipating what you want. So you have to speak up. Her blood courses through his veins. But you most certainly can work with your man and his mom by controlling what you do have con- trol over—by using your powers to set standards and require- ments that he needs to abide by as the two of you work to create a family or to blend your families together.

If you choose to go over there, then you need to stay over there for the night. Leaving a woman and children in the house at a quarter to eleven at night—whether to bake cookies or go to the strip club—is un- acceptable if that woman thinks it is.

His mother may not be happy about this, but what would you care? He recognizes pretty early on that the support he gets from his mother— clothes, housing, education, nurturing, and so on—needs to come to an end when manhood is full throttle, and that if he is to have a true, loving, lasting relationship with a woman, he needs to cut the proverbial umbilical cord from his mom so that he can give life to his new family—his own family.

All you have to do is speak up. I need you to be the head of this family. Not so much for women. Now I get it! And who could argue with that? But let a man step out on his woman, and watch the earth move. Cheating is not one of them. Now, we men? We understand this. Still, we do it. Men cheat because. For a lot of you, the act of intercourse is emotional—an act of love. By contrast, when it comes to men and sex, neither emotions nor meaning necessarily enter the equation.

Sex can be a purely physical act for us—love has absolutely nothing to do with it. Should I consent so that a potential for sneaking around can be eliminated? What can I do to get him to change his thinking—if anything?

It was something that may have made him feel good physically, but emotionally, his heart—the professing, providing, and protecting he saves for the woman he loves—may be at home with his woman.

Trust me when I say this: under this situation, plenty of men would easily justify their getting some from somewhere else. Neither he, nor any other man, for that matter, is going to go without sex too long.

You see it as betrayal. Men see it as just a way to get tightened up, especially if. Of course, men will consider the risks of getting caught cheating on his lady. I used to do a joke where I would en- courage men to ride their lie all the way out. A man who cheats has most certainly calculated the collateral damage that would come from getting busted—potential loss of the woman he loves, his children, his home, and his peace of mind—and he recognizes that this would be a devastating blow to all the things that matter in his life.

And in the beginning, mostly, you will. You may think this is a cop-out, but it is the reality. And so creep he will. The same can be true, even, of a man who is married with children.

But only he can put his house in order. And that moral code will au- tomatically make him put family second, because this is what a relationship with God demands.

Sometimes men wise up without God in their lives. His philandering stopped cold. And this man is missing the spark that used to be there. Yes, these are the women who have no standards and requirements and who suffer from serious self- esteem issues, making themselves willing to cheat and available to be cheated on. And then teach all of this to your daughters, too. Because holding on to that baggage can be paralyz- ing; it can cripple you and keep you from performing in your next encounter.

You do that by upping the ante on your requirements. And if he breaks that promise and steps out anyway? Now sometimes, it takes a man to lose something or nearly lose something to really appreciate it. But he may eventually earn your trust back and be willing to work through it with you. Trust me, I know. It happens to a lot of men.

Such a man may exist but I have not met him. But I do know men of power who have learned to do right, go home, and take care of their families. Each one of them eventually gets to that. I certainly have; now, I carry my behind home. I had to come to this, though. And guess what? And their wives?

She might come home from work and instead of kicking off those heels, keep them on and whisper in his ear to meet her in the bedroom for a pre- dinner snack. Or she might smile a little more, act a little bit more happy, be a tad bit more spontaneous—appreciate her man more, and show it, too. This was certainly the story of one of my really good friends. Dude was miserable. I mean, he was losing weight.

And I want them back. Any married man can look at him and see how to get it done. And you know what? He goes home every night. She is just as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside. She loves the Lord. And she cares for, respects, and adores me deeply. It started while I was doing a show in Memphis. She walked in with another attractive woman. I knew right then and there we were going to be mar- ried some day of course, this was really more of a hope than a certainty—smile.

Maybe she knew it, too, or at least liked what she saw because even though she disappeared the night I informed her of my plan, she showed up two nights later at another show of mine, and this time, I asked her to come backstage and talk for a while.

She agreed, and we became fast friends, and even dated for a spell. But eventually, we both went our separate ways. Still, Mar- jorie and I always remembered the friendship we had together, and we reached out to check up on each other from time to time. But, even though I knew I was in love with this woman and that she loved me, I was still con- nected to some women friends I had developed after my divorce, when I had really started dating again. I should have known better, though. And sure enough, late that night, when I got up to go to the bathroom— it was about A.

She was going to leave me—leave us. Her response made me realize right then and there, in the middle of that hallway, in the middle of the night, that she was The One.

I got these kids, I have a good life, and I want a man who will come in and complete my family. I realized right then and there, in that hallway, that I wanted no other. In other words, I became the man she needed me to be be- cause she had sense enough to have requirements—standards that she needed in her relationship in order to make the rela- tionship work for her.

She also knew this man had to be faithful, love God, and be willing to do what it took to keep this family together. These requirements are important to her because they govern how she will be treated; they are important to me, too, because they lay out a virtual map of what all I need to do to make sure she gets what she needs and wants. And it is my sole mission in life to make sure Marjorie is happy.

It really makes us quite happy when you lay out your requirements for us. We do like some kind of decorum. By the time ser vice is over, I feel so uplifted, I know the rest of my week is going to go great. Get the picture? Be sure of this: if you tell a man you like red roses at work, dinner at that special restaurant across town, and Chanel bags for your birthday, that is exactly what he will give you—nothing less, but certainly nothing more. And you will think that because he stopped, he changed.

My philosophy? For example, funny? How do you expect to be pursued? Do you want regular phone calls? Text messages? Dates at least three times a week? Do you want him to always pick up the tab? What level of commitment do you expect? Do you want an open relationship? Or to date exclusively? Should it be up for discussion? Do you want him to be rich? Do you want him to make more money than you?

Are you okay with a blue-collar worker? Do you want a man who wants kids and is family oriented? Can you help a man build his dream? Can you adapt to his plan? I will definitely recommend this book to non fiction, self help lovers. Your Rating:. Your Comment:. Read Online Download. Add a review Your Rating: Your Comment:.

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